5 thoughts on “JOURNAL # 22

  1. In our final peer review I tried to give as much feedback as I thought. My group members gave me some outstanding feedback on my paper so I only felt as I should try to go above and beyond with theirs. Some things I looked at while viewing this paper was the way the sentences were structured. Sentences making sure they had a claim and some back up evidence. I also tried to look to make sure the incorporated their point of view, I believe this was important in the ted talk because they are given a speech on what they are thinking that does not necessarily mean that you will believe with what they are saying which is where the evidence comes in play. During this peer review I also tried to make sure that the paragraphs flowed nicely throughout the whole essay and it was not just a bunch of words thrown together to great a paragraph that talks about multiple different things with no claim or evidence. The two papers I looked over were very well done and they are both headed down the right path with this paper like thing.

  2. I did ask my peer review partners questions about there comments and ways that I could better benefit my essay to help get a better grade. I also helped keeping everyone on task as we went through each essay and said what we meant for each other and also sometimes when saying a comment it could make more sense for the writer rather than them just reading it. so it was really helpful and I liked the comments that I was given I feel like it will really help me in the long run when fixing my essay. In the peer review process it was very easy to understand the comments that they were making. Some other ways were that they not only told me where to move this or that but they also helped me out with spelling and other common mistakes I make that I usually don’t see. I am going to go back and fixed what my classmates have suggested sometimes it is better if you take someone else’s advice instead of your own for once. Another way is to not be so like my way is the best way and actually take criticism and use it to benefit myself and actually listen to my classmates and not just myself.

  3. For this peer reviewed we met and we each went through all of our comments for each paper. From this review we talked thoroughly through each comment and added and took away certain details in our essays. My experience through this peer review I saw that my essay was a little dismembered but with the help of my peer’s I was able to find a place where some of my sentences and argument fit best and would allow me to to maker a strong argument with it. Through this peer review I learned that revising someone’s essay isn’t just fixing or corrected their work but really diving into their writing so you can see each other’s arguments clearly. I was able to help and receive feedback that I was able to process and then acted upon it and if I needed clarification Alex and Hannah were both very helpful. We all stayed very focused on each essay with the time we had in class and we were able to ask questions on some of the comments and to seek guidance on troubled areas. Within this time frame I was able to see the effects of the peer editing shift my writing into something an essay that didn’t know where the argument was going with it’s claim to becoming a process where I was able to recieve feedback and see what I can work on to make my writing better. I am very focused on making this PLT a well thought out and strong piece of writing were I am able to tell the reader right away what I am talking about and how it relates to my experience as a 1st semester freshman. I took the peer review comments I received and I want to use them to better my writing and not to just see it as something I need to fix or correct.

  4. Doing our final peer review has helped a great deal with my final writing piece in English 122. Alex and Kristen both did a great job explaining to me what I needed to approve upon and what I was doing well. Alex and Kristen feedback was helpful because when I go to make corrections I know exactly what needs to be changed and how I should go back that. Their comments showed me that I felt I few things out of my essay and I need to build upon that for the reader to understand what I am talking about.
    When I was giving feedback to Alex and Kristen I was thinking about what was the best way to help them expand their writing. Alex had plenty of quotes throughout his essay but I told him for the endless conversation to be able to work he would have to add in more personal experiences so the reader knows what it was like for you. For Kristen I believed that she developed a solid background talking about Gwande but her quotes and personal experiences needed to tie more together. Instead of a random quote throw into an essay. When talking about what he wrote to each other was actually different to ask questions because the comments that were put on google docs were in depth and exampled what was going on.

  5. Alex Smyth:
    In order to improve my work as a college student, I reflected on my comments that I made with my group members then see if any of those ideas connected to my PLT as well for improvement. When I was confused on what my group members were asking, I would ask for clarification to understand what I had missed or went wrong with. I listened very closely to what my group members had to say so that I could comprehend what needed to be done. From this group work I was able to learn what I was missing which was my own oar on the topic that I had presented. It was pretty much of summary of Dweck and her complied thoughts but never any of my own examples that connected with the reader. I had to talk a little more about my high school and college experience with getting more into depth with the connection of my growth mindset. Instead of what just Dweck had to say about this mindset and why this is a benefit for most students. I was able to learn how to put my own thoughts with others so that I could make more of a connection with the reader while making it easier to follow instead of confusion with who each person was and how it related to themselves. I was able to provide more examples of myself to allow my own oar to be seen in the endless conversation that I had presented with the reader.

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