Journal (#4)

Journal (#4)

Journal (#4): Practice Session ONE (p.24) on an unexpected event. Post on your ePort AND post on our course site in the designated spot. This is how you earn credit. (60 min.)

14 thoughts on “Journal (#4)

  1. Practice Session 1 Habits of the creative Mind

    Dealing with a traumatic experience always seems nothing less than unexpected. All one can think and wonder is “why did this happen?” or “what is going to happen next?”. Mostly everyone has had one of these experiences, including me. Last year around February- March a family friend to me was viciously stabbed in our public library by a man that she went to school with. She was pronounced dead about 2 hours after the incident. It wasn’t till later that night that I heard my parents talking to some neighbors saying “what!? Deane Stryker? are you sure…”. After that I shut down , tears rolling down my face like never before. I couldn’t cope with it and I felt numb to the pain, it didn’t feel real.
    I couldn’t understand who would do that and why because she never did anything. She was an amazing girl and she was on her first year here at UNE pre-med. She was a volunteer and always cared about everything and everyone. She even had her tragedies probably worse than anyone I could imagine. She was strong, courageous and so much more. I miss her everyday. Her death was just the beginning of an overload of emotions.
    The week that she died, the parkland shooting in Florida had just happened in addition many more shootings and brutal attacks. Everyone in the high school including me were all anxious because you never think that’s gonna happen to you. That usual teenage invisibility cloak was draped upon everyone’s shoulders. Then Deane died, and no one knew how to deal with it. The week after she had passed was very rough. I was anxious, depressed and nervous like no other. I remember I was in my Teacher Assistant block and I heard a very loud bang and I froze and got so nervous I started to cry. I was shaken with fear and felt paralyzed.
    Being able to cope with this wasn’t easy and it took awhile for me to realize that she was gone. I still can hear the cries of her family at the funeral. They echoed through the church and I balled my eyes out for the next two days. I finally realized that I had said goodbye. How do you deal with this kind of trauma? I still can’t tell you the answer because every tragedy is different but I can say that grief is like a roller coaster and were all in the same seat, some are going up while others are going down. I was going down for the next couple days. I finally pulled myself together realizing, in moments like these, the playing field is leveled, and nobody has control. I wanted to focus my sadness and even anger towards something else. As a student body we bonded together and organized our own school walkout that we saw everyone in country participating in. These events help us stand up to what we needed and what we will not stand for. Everyone may experience trauma but how you deal with it is your choice. I chose to stand up for someone who no longer could.

  2. Practice Session 1 Habits of the creative Mind

    Dealing with a traumatic experience always seems nothing less than unexpected. All one can think and wonder is “why did this happen?” or “what is going to happen next?”. Mostly everyone has had one of these experiences, including me. Last year around February- March a family friend to me was viciously stabbed in our public library by a man that she went to school with. She was pronounced dead about 2 hours after the incident. It wasn’t till later that night that I heard my parents talking to some neighbors saying “what!? Deane Stryker? are you sure…”. After that I shut down , tears rolling down my face like never before. I couldn’t cope with it and I felt numb to the pain, it didn’t feel real.
    I couldn’t understand who would do that and why because she never did anything. She was an amazing girl and she was on her first year here at UNE pre-med. She was a volunteer and always cared about everything and everyone. She even had her tragedies probably worse than anyone I could imagine. She was strong, courageous and so much more. I miss her everyday. Her death was just the beginning of an overload of emotions.
    The week that she died, the parkland shooting in Florida had just happened in addition many more shootings and brutal attacks. Everyone in the high school including me were all anxious because you never think that’s gonna happen to you. That usual teenage invisibility cloak was draped upon everyone’s shoulders. Then Deane died, and no one knew how to deal with it. The week after she had passed was very rough. I was anxious, depressed and nervous like no other. I remember I was in my Teacher Assistant block and I heard a very loud bang and I froze and got so nervous I started to cry. I was shaken with fear and felt paralyzed.
    Being able to cope with this wasn’t easy and it took awhile for me to realize that she was gone. I still can hear the cries of her family at the funeral. They echoed through the church and I balled my eyes out for the next two days. I finally realized that I had said goodbye. How do you deal with this kind of trauma? I still can’t tell you the answer because every tragedy is different but I can say that grief is like a roller coaster and were all in the same seat, some are going up while others are going down. I was going down for the next couple days. I finally pulled myself together realizing, in moments like these, the playing field is leveled, and nobody has control. I wanted to focus my sadness and even anger towards something else. As a student body we bonded together and organized our own school walkout that we saw everyone in country participating in. These events help us stand up to what we needed and what we will not stand for. Everyone may experience trauma but how you deal with it is your choice. I chose to stand up for someone who no longer could.

  3. Kristen Harding
    Jessie E. Miller
    September 10, 2018

    Response to the Unexpected

    It was the Spring of freshman year and it was mid season of my first varsity career, and my arm blows out. There is a whole backstory to this and I will explain. I was the shortstop, and the coach tried to teach me to throw side arm for a quicker release from deep in the 5-6 hole. If you don’t know what the 5-6 hole is, it is close to 3rd base. The coach would stop practice to yell at me and try to make me throw side arm when I did not. It had gotten to the point where I had told him that my elbow was starting to kill and he did not listen to me when I said it was hurting me. One practice I had heard a loud “POP” and then all of a sudden I could not feel from my elbow down on my arm. There was about 5 mins of practice left so I had played the last 5 minutes. At the end of practice I had gone to my mom and started balling my eyes out. I could not make any words out. I just barely had gotten the words, “I can’t feel my arm” After I had gotten those words out my mom had rushed me to the E.R. where they took X-rays and they had done some nerve tests in my elbow. The hospital had diagnosed me with a severe pinched nerve. It had been a couple days and I had gone to see my primary care doctor and he had asked if it had gotten better and I replied with no. so he had called in a favor to see the Orthopedic doctor. He was able to squeeze me in later that day. So my mom and I had gone to see him and I told him what happened and he had done some tests and he had diagnosed me with a Strained UCL. If no one knows what a UCL is it is a muscle in your elbow that is attached to your arm and holds you growth plate to your elbow. My Orthopedic doctor said since I was a girl I was lucky because if I was a boy my growth plate would have been fused and I would have torn it off, this injury is also known as a Tommy John. Thats the injury that most MLB pitchers have. It definitely was a very scary moment because I had missed 25% of my freshman year season and about 80% of my summer league I play for as well. I had to do about 6-8 moths of P.T. to try and gain strength back into my elbow and arm considering I was in a sling for 6 months and not able to do anything with my right arm.
    What I would have done differently is I would have not listened to the coach because it was a major set back to myself on my skills and to my person self as well. It has been about 4 years since I had the injury and I still have issues with it. I sometimes will get a sharp pain shoot down from my elbow. Its very scary because I have a high chance to tear my growth plate off now. My personal thought is that I really wished I had just done my own thing and played the way I know how to play. The reason I had listened to my high school coach was one he was my coach, two everyone told me to listen to him, and three I wanted to play varsity. I had put my intentions and wants over my health and I feel like it could have been easily diverted if I had just stopped throwing the way that was hurting me.

  4. They always say you will meet your best friend in college and a couple years from now the ones you had in high school with no longer matter. Coming into college I never thought that was going to be the truth. I have a couple of best friends. One from kindergarten and a few from high school. My best friend and I were very close throughout our ending of sophomore year until about the ending of our senior year. I knew the friendship was never going to be simple because of her past but I would never judge a book by its cover. Something that I never thought would become between our friendship would be our relationships with people or our friendships with others. Toward the end of our friendship I soon learned that her boyfriend would be the reason why we were no longer friends. I know it sounds terrible the way it was said but that’s the way I saw the situation.

    This was unexpected for me because her and I always said we would be best friends no matter what. We talked every day, I saw her every day and I had no problem telling her my problems. Soon, the trust was lost, we no longer saw eye to eye and things had to be changed. Something I wish I knew going into my freshman year of college was that a lot of things will change, and people are serious when they say, “most high school friends will no longer matter.” I wish I knew that the people you barely talked too would impact your life more than the ones that were always by your side through everything. I know focus on the present day and no longer the past. I knew that the decision that was made would be better for us in the long run. I now know that when I get the chance to give advice about friendship to the ones younger than me, that friendships that are said to last forever will not. Not always but most of the time.

  5. Journal 4

    The most unexpected event that has taken place in my life so far is coming to college. This was unexpected at the time because so much was going on and college honestly didn’t have a place in that situation to me. I felt and still feel as though that me not going to college would help out a lot especially money wise. However, since this decision was final, that I would be going to college I promise myself that I would make the most out of it no matter what happens. Far as futurewise my vision never change its stayed the same, if anything I would say vision for the future gotten stronger.

  6. When people tell stories about unexpected events they’ve experienced, most people assume a tragic accident or a family member dying. Basically, people assume the worst. However, my experience was nothing other than positive. It was when I discovered what I wanted to be in the future, a healthcare professional. All throughout high school I thought I knew what I wanted to do, and that was apply to college as a marketing or business major. I have always been a creative person so I knew I could excel at marketing. My goal was to market for clothing companies or other top brands. That was until I took a marketing class my junior year; I hated it. I despised going to class everyday, nothing we learned was interesting to me. I was now questioning my future. I had to rethink about what I wanted to do, but I had no idea what that would be anymore.

    I discovered the only class I enjoyed going to was health science. In fact, I assumed I’d hate this class more than Marketing. Enrolling in health science was a way to receive a science credit without having to enroll in chemistry. I hated anything related to the medical field, I became squeamish around blood and couldn’t even glance at a broken arm, leg or any dismantled body part without becoming nauseous. Despite that, I wound up loving medicine and all the disgusting topics after a month of starting class. I started to believe there was a reason I signed up for this class and once I discovered a love for this topic I was no longer disgusted, all I wanted to do was be able to help people. I worked hard everyday in class and later was invited into the second year of the program to work and complete clinicals to obtain my Licensed Nursing Assistant Certification. I later received an anatomy and physiology award at senior awards night for being one of the top five in the class, I was exceling in the medical related classes. Discovering I wanted to go into the medical field was an event I would never have expected from myself, but I’m thankful I did.

  7. Alex Smyth
    Eng. 122
    Jesse Miller
    September 10, 2018

    The Unexpected
    Life always has unexpected twist, no matter how much you think you’re in control. Tragedy can happen at any moment unexpectedly. I remember being halfway through my 8 grade year in the middle of a lab. We worked with partners to try and shoot a straw from a water bottle from end of the room to the other, then my teacher had stepped me aside. I thought, “Did I do something wrong. Did I hit someone with the straw?” Something worse had happen, the unthinkable. “Alex, your great-grandma has just passed away.” I took almost five minutes to process the information. How could someone so close had just been gone like that. My first though was, “Did she have a good life.”

    The rest of the day went by slow. I felt numb all over. My classes felt twice as long as they should have been. I had to adjust to a new reality that my great-grandma would no longer be able to see me at family visits. She was nothing more than a corpse, laying in her coffin ready to go to the next life. The day had finally ended. The bus ride was silent, no sound or should I say I wasn’t listen if they were making noise. Once off, I entered my house to see my parents waiting to explain what had happened and what the next few days were going to be. “Tomorrow we have the wake and then the funeral the next day.”  My mom said. The rest of the day I just went to sleep in my bed, waiting for the arrival of the wake.

    I had woke up that morning, forgetting what had happen so quickly just to have the phenomenon rush back into my head. I looked outside to see cloudy skies and slight drizzle, being a very gloomy day. My parents had me get ready for the day. Suit on, teeth brushed and shaved for the wake. We drove quietly the whole way there, no wanting to break the tension of the situation. At the arrival, we were greeted with warm hugs and greetings. Everyone was getting ready to say there goodbyes. Some tears were shred, while others remained calm as they could be. Just as unexpected as the death was, my dad crying was even more unexpected for me. He painted himself out as calm and collected but to see him break down was frighting to me. So many things were happening at once, I couldn’t keep track. Finally, the wake was over and time to go home and wait for the finally goodbye for my great-grandma.

    We all woke up early that day, getting ready for that last goodbye. The drive felt even longer and quieter than before. Making it on time, we were all ready to share our thoughts. The priest gave his speech, then had my uncle Paul go up to say a few words. He enlighten the crowd of what kind of woman she was. Strong, Independent, brave, etc. “Now, lets bow our heads in silence, to remember the kind of woman she was.” Ending on that note, the coffin was put into a limousine and towed off to the graves.

    We reached the area after some bad traffic, but nevertheless made it. We all crowded around her grave, as she was lowered in. Then something unexpected happened one last time. I had cried, finally accepting the reality that she had been gone forever.

  8. Unexpected Events
    9-9-18

    I value trust of friends and family. When trust is broken it’s hard to wonder if you will ever be able to get it back. When you have trust between friends you think that it can’t be broken. Then when you get backstabbed by the two people you thought wouldn’t your whole world could change in the matter of a minute.
    This happened to me when i thought i would walk into my senior year, the best year of my life with my best friends who have been by my side since i was in seventh grade. All of a sudden a fight broke out two days before the first day of school and thus ended the friendship i thought would follow me to college. I was never told why they cut me out. I got no explanation just a complete cut off. This was so unexpected because that morning we all hung out with no problems. It was like it has always been. Laughing till we couldn’t breathe and just having a good time. Then come that night I was alone.
    I felt so broken and didn’t know what to do. That night I just curled up in bed, listened to sad music and stared at my white ceiling hoping that in some way it would give me an answer to everything i felt. Sitting on my bed in complete darkness just replaying those days events on repeat in my mind was all i did for those two days. I was lost, broken and completely confused.
    Thus came the first day of school. The day i was dreading and didn’t want to do. Not because I wasn’t excited I mean its my senior year I was so ready for everything to come and to finally graduate. I dreaded it because i didn’t know what to do. I hated being alone and hated being seen alone. That was my own problem but at the same time in a school of only 400 it’s hard to make new friends. I have known people in my grade science pre-school, going through every year with them, watching them grow up, there really wasn’t a way to just walk up and say hi. Now i had a whole new problem because i didn’t have anyone in my corner. I was completely alone in a hall full of people.
    Walking down those halls watching the friend groups all cheer excited for the year and to finally see each other again even though they saw them the day before, but acted like its been years. Then there was me walking down those halls, weaving through the mass groups that were piling up. Almost invisible and zombie like in a sea of people. No one cared and nobody knew what happened. I passed my old friends in the hall as they were together. They just stared as they passed not even acknowledging my existence.
    Now some people would just keep this going but for me it brought a whole new light as to who i was. This was my senior year and i wasn’t about to let two people ruin that for me. So I did what anyone else would have I started talking to old friends. People who I may have shut out due to my friendships with others. At the beginning it was hard because they all thought of why I was coming back. After sitting in class with old friends and talking it started to make sense. I started seeing this as a chance to change myself. I wasn’t going to let this tear me down forever. That’s not who I wanted to be. Thus the healing process started to begin for me.
    This was a long road to walk down. I was essentially starting from scratch. A new routine was beginning for me. I went to school happy having an attitude that today is a new day and could be better than the last day. I smiled at people who i accidentally made eye contact with. I waved to people who knew my name. Then i went to class and sat with friends, making jokes and was just being myself. As i walked by my old friends it was easier to just keep walking and not stop my step every time i saw them. Instead I kept my head up and just kept walking.
    Everyday got a little easier. I was happy, bubbly and didn’t care about what people thought. I was more focused in class, wanting to learn the information and get good grades. I was tired of being pushed around and slacking off. I found myself engaged and knowing I could do better in school if i just put the effort in. My teachers noticed the change too. Some have had me for all four years and even told me how much i changed. It was nice to see that others were noticing. Yeah they did not know what had happened but they saw that I was becoming the best version of myself. I also had a better relationship with my parents. Instead of arguing about how I didn’t do my homework or was failing a class, we were joyful and happy every time I said i aced a test or quiz. Homework stopped becoming this chore I didn’t want to do but a means to better myself and my grades.
    Looking back in that moment I would have changed everything. I have asked myself a million times what went wrong. Looking at it now though I wouldn’t change a thing. Without this experience I have no idea where i would be. Would i be at college? Would i be repeating my senior year? Who knows, all i know is that without this unexpected event i may not be where I am today. I won’t ever get over fully what happened because how do you get over something but I do know that i won’t ever let it hold me back because I won’t let people have that much hold over my life and what i chose to do with it.
    Just from this experience alone i found a part of myself i didn’t know existed. I was so use to relying on people to constantly be around me. I thought i needed them in order to be happy. Little did I know that by being alone i could be happy also. When i thought about my future I didn’t know what to expect. I learned to take things day by day and not take people for granted. You never know who will be there when you wake up or who will be by your side in the long run. Life is unpredictable. You just gotta take it day by day and see where things will take you.

  9. R.J Jenkins

    My life has been full of unexpected experiences. From a young age being between homes and not knowing which to go to, to suddenly moving in with my aunt and uncle. Through the years I’ve been conditioned to cope with what would be “unexpected” to the average human. But one time in my life I was caught completely off guard and didn’t know how to cope. It was 2011 and I was being an average middle schooler. I was playing recreational basketball, sleeping over friends houses and just living my best life. Then one day I came home, and everyone was crying, and I didn’t know why. The weirdest part was my uncle was crying. My uncle never cried. I later asked my aunt, who was the most composed, what happened. She told me to sit down which surprised me, but I listened. She told me that my grandmother passed. I didn’t understand. The week before we where talking to her in the hospital. I knew she was sick, but not the extent she was sick. It didn’t hit me then. It didn’t hit me the next day in school, and it didn’t hit me at the wake. The fact that she was gone hit me when we buried her. I was a mess for a couple of days, I didn’t go to school or play basketball. I just cried, ate, and slept. I was really connected to my grandmother. I used to live with my grandmother. We would have Sunday dinners at her house, and every day before school I would wait at her house before the bus came. She would cook me breakfast before I went. It’s strange how I thought that was ready for all the surprises in life and then the thing I wasn’t even close to being ready for this

  10. When I was lobster fishing with my grandfather two months ago I was pinned to the back of the boat by a rope that was attached to 3 traps. We were still moving at a steady rate, and my grandfather hadn’t noticed. I truly thought I was going to be ripped off the boat and into the water, to then be dragged 40 feet to the bottom. As I was thinking of that, I yelled to my grandfather to stop the boat. Once the boat was stopped, the pressure was still very tight because of the drag and weight of the traps behind, I took my knife and cut the rope. Before the rope could vanish into the deep blue, I grabbed it with my left hand, forcing my upper body to lean over the side of the boat almost falling in again. Luckily my grandfather pulled the rope and I onto the boat. This was the most unexpected time because it all happen in a split second. I really thought I was going to go in that water, but instead of facing the fate I acted.

  11. The best things come unexpected in life in general. That’s because when it’s unexpected it is so much better! But unexpected things could be either for better or worse. A lot of unexpected things happen in my life. A lot for either better or worse. Mostly better. Some are bittersweet. Something unexpected that happened to me this summer was being thrown in with the starters the second day of camp for football this year. Coming in i expected to be learning from the side for a while, and observing as much as possible. Trying to get better everyday and adjusting from high school to the college game. Mentally and physically. Mentally the game is a lot more tougher because there is so much more things needed to be known to be able to play, play well, then perform. A lot of new things than from high school and a lot more advanced. Physically, everyone else is bigger and stronger than me due to the fact they’ve all been lifting weights in college for 2-3 more years than me and have me on age. I am grateful for it all and the opportunity to actually be able to play as a freshman. So that was something that made me happy when it happened because it came unexpectedly. Although it has been a tough task, throwing school on top it. It’s like going to school for two completely different things everyday all day. When it’s not one it’s the other. Which is something else that came unexpectedly. All the time i didn’t know was going to be consumed in being a college student athlete. It has been tough at first but my goal is to be able to juggle them both and not let the other distract me from the other! Unexpected things are things thrown at you but you have to learn how to handle them. And always being prepared.

  12. Alex Case

    September 9, 2018

    Unexpected events can lead whoever may be involved down so many different paths. Things can turn for the worse or for the best in the matter of seconds. The tragedies are what hit us the hardest. The most recent and unexpected event that I thought of was the passing of someone who I used to be very good friends with. As most people know when you leave high school there are certain close best friends who you will see everyday, but then there is also those people who you were friendly with who you always had a good time with, hung out at school and had a blast with. One of my friends that was always a funny person to be around passed away of an overdose. This unexpected event shocked our whole community. People will think because it was an overdose that it should have happened or that they don’t feel bad but to me I look at is as him making a poor choice that went as wrong as it could go. Addiction is a true thing and once you make that stupid choice for the first time it is very hard to stop and not want that same “peace of mind” that it gave you the first time.

    This friend made a horrific choice and no one would have ever seen it coming. We go about our days as it is normal but after epiernecning something so close to home and to the heart, I believe everyone in my town looks at their everyday life differently. The way you treat someone or even if it is as little as just telling everyone you love them that day no matter how life is going. Unexpected events keep you in shock. His family, our community and most importantly he did not deserve to go out like that. Unexpected events change people in a way that sometimes and in this case can never truly go back to normal.

  13. Unexpected Event

    It was a mildly cold Friday night under the lights Morse field or Dr. Deering stadium in Danvers, Ma. The stands were full and there was not a seat to be found. My team and I were ready to play the ball was kicked off at 7pm. The whole game was back and forth and then tied at half time against our rivals Gloucester fisherman. Going into the second half we got the ball back and started driving down the field and we scored to take the lead. The game was very one sided after that we were all saying that the thanksgiving day trophy is finally coming back to where it belongs. Then the unexpected happened to me, it was the fourth quarter and the fisherman were driving down the field and they were going to score to at least get a chance at coming back to win the game. The ball was on the 40 yard line and they were driving with full momentum on there side and we were for sure that they would score. The play they ran was there go too or bread and butter so to speak. The ball was snapped and I got out of my stance and broke through the line and went to tackle the running back when I had the lead blocker or the full back put his helmet right in the side of my knee and causing it to bend the opposite way of my body. That had to be the most painful thing of my life I got carried off the field y my teammates and onto the bench and I left the game not being able to celebrate the victory with my team or my family because I needed to get knee looked at. I had stretched and partially torn my ACL,PCL, and MCL all in one unexpected play in football.

  14. Throughout my life, i never experienced a totally unexpected events just suddenly apears in my life. I always have a thought of everything can happens tomorrow, in my head. However, there was one, it just happened couple month ago. It was summer, i just go back to china, i was excited to see all my friends and family whom i havent see in person for a year, and also couldnt wait to go out with my friends to do what most teenager do when summer comes. For the first couple day nothing special appeared. Until one day. It was a hot, dry Monday afternoon, it was extrenmily hot outside. If you ever get hungery, just go find a road and crack a egg on it, couple minuet later you can have a nice cooked egg even its pretty gross. i got call from my father. It was a wired silence at the beginning, then i was trying to recall what did i do to piss him off again, and it comes to a conclusion that i came home pretty late last night. I was about to remind him to got his hand off a adult’ life, and he suddenly said“the result just come out,your grandma has cancer”,and a weird silence appeared again, until i heard the most annoying sound “BI BI BI”. i Dont know what come up to my mind during that time, because it was totally blanked. Then i start to think my grandma the one who raised me up, the one who spoilled me the most, the one who used to wake up 5 am everyday so i can have a warm breakfast before i went to school,every time when i got home she is there,set on the life side of sofa, with the kindest smile on her face and looked at me like i have already saved the world even i was just a ordinay mid school kid, the one who will always by my side even the world is against me. Have you ever experienced the one you loved respected the most, who is so deeply part of your life and routine, and it reach to a point that you even stop thinking about him or her , cause you know he or she is there,and one day the god may take it away from you, the most precious thing of yours, and then you start to think about every small thing he or she used to do for you. When i start to think everyday when i got home, and i found nothing but full of used dishes on the table, the one i subconsciously think she is still there, on the left side of sofa,but she is just not there. That felling strike me hard with frighten desperation and the helplessness of there is nothing i can do but to pray and spend as much time as i can with her. I was just stood on the street for god knows how long.
    However the surgery was successful and the doctor noticed us that she will get better if she rest will and dont forget to take those pills.

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